WooHoo!! I'm the big winner! My car was broken into yesterday....again. When it happened 6 months ago or so, everyone on my street said "That hasn't happened on our street for years." Of course, they also said that several weeks later when the house got broken into. The cops and my landlord both said (in regards to yesterday's incident) "That hasn't happened at these apartments for a couple of years." Fascinating, don't ya think? Has anyone noticed a freakin spotlight shining on me from somewhere? Why am I so damn lucky?
I know what you're thinking....you wish I'd shut up and drop the defeatist attitude. But this is my blog, so I can vent as much as I care to. That's why I have a blog in the first place, after all. I'm signing off now....I've gotta go get a third job to pay for my new car window.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
aahhhh.....about the poetry, that is........
The restroom at my office bears the classic poem of the public toilet. Printed and laminated on a discolored sheet of construction paper reads “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.” Next to the poem is the graphic of a not-so-modern robot holding a balloon. I take offense at this cutesie reminder to not piss all over the toilet seat. First of all….I don’t need a reminder. I feel like I’m in the 2nd grade when I have to read that 4 times a day. (6-7 times if I drink a lot.) Secondly….why the robot? Seems like a better spokesperson for responsible restroom behavior would be a nurse or a bluebird or Barney….or even Magic Johnson. I’m just incredibly annoyed with the whole thing. I never thought I’d say it, but I’d rather read fowl cusswords and phone numbers of strangers when I pee in a public place. That’s the way it should be.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Paradise With a Side of Bacon
There was a bit on the news the other day about crime-related T.V. shows. Police departments all over the country are frustrated with shows like C.S.I. (all 14 versions) and Law & Order (all 57 versions) because they give potential criminals too much instruction about how NOT to get caught. Fingerprints, hair strands, and blood splatters are getting harder to come by behind the yellow tape. Not only that, but police say that these shows give the public unrealistic expectations about crime solving...making it harder for them to do their jobs. My thoughts about that type of entertainment is that it gives already crazy people even more creative ways to do horrible things. Of course, in the mid 80's, cops in Miami were pissed off because of the pressure to wear pastel sports jackets. If it's not one thing, it's another.
Instead of barking about the unrealistic expectations of crime shows, I think we should all talk about how shows like Friends equip us to feel crappy about our personal lives. Don't you sometimes wish that a predictable joke or an espresso at your favorite coffee shop (oh, yeah....and EVERY time you go there, one of your best pals is on the couch) could smooth things over when they get complicated and frustrating and not-so-pretty? Why aren't psychologists and case workers complaining about how Joey and Rachel are making THEIR jobs difficult? pansy policeman......
A friend very recently mentioned the idea of WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF EVERYONE THAT WE CARE ABOUT COULD ALL COEXIST IN THE SAME LIFE?(loose translation) We've all thought about this, haven't we? I think most of us would want it. It doesn't sound all that tricky, but it's so difficult, in fact, that it's almost impossible. Well, I guess it's not that far fetched for some. If you've lived in the same hick town your entire life and you've never gone anywhere and never done anything and nobody you know has gone anywhere or done anything and your circle of relationship has wound itself so tightly that nobody new comes in and nobody old gets out.....then everyone you care about can exist together. But for most of us, it's just not that simple. Most of us are stuck in the middle of the giant complex organism of life, and people come and go from all directions and half of the time they never bump into each other. They only bump into YOU; and the only evidence they see of the others are the bruises left on your arms from time to time.
I had a dream last night that I was in a cramped, smoky Waffle House. I went in with a small group of friends (ones that I happen to be missing right now). We sat down, ordered our food. Seconds later, another group of my (our) friends walked in. We were all surprised to see each other. "Haayyy!! What are YOU doing here?" We scooted over and made room. But then it happened again. And again. And again. Before long just about every friend I have, their friends, people that I met once or twice but really liked and never saw again, my family members, and so on had walked into the restaurant. We eventually stopped acting surprised to see everyone else there. It was normal. Expected. We pulled up additional tables and shared chairs...nobody seemed to mind the lack of space. There was no awkwardness and every single person there felt acknowledged and welcomed. I was eating waffles smothered with blueberry compote. I was laughing so much that my face was covered in purple mush. It was dripping down my chin and I couldn't have cared less. Nobody did. It was beautiful.
My only conclusion of the dream is that it was a clear and obvious expression of my longing for a relationship utopia. (I can't help but grin when I realize that the setting of my personal utopia was an establishment that serves carb-laden breakfast food. How telling.) While the details of the dream are unrealistic (everyone knows that Waffle House doesn't serve compote), I can't shake off the thought of "Why not?" So much of life truly is complicated, but more often than not, I make it unnecessarily so. Thomas More believed that utopia was possible. Joey and Rachel believed it. Why shouldn't we? It's definitely a goal worth striving for.
Instead of barking about the unrealistic expectations of crime shows, I think we should all talk about how shows like Friends equip us to feel crappy about our personal lives. Don't you sometimes wish that a predictable joke or an espresso at your favorite coffee shop (oh, yeah....and EVERY time you go there, one of your best pals is on the couch) could smooth things over when they get complicated and frustrating and not-so-pretty? Why aren't psychologists and case workers complaining about how Joey and Rachel are making THEIR jobs difficult? pansy policeman......
A friend very recently mentioned the idea of WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF EVERYONE THAT WE CARE ABOUT COULD ALL COEXIST IN THE SAME LIFE?(loose translation) We've all thought about this, haven't we? I think most of us would want it. It doesn't sound all that tricky, but it's so difficult, in fact, that it's almost impossible. Well, I guess it's not that far fetched for some. If you've lived in the same hick town your entire life and you've never gone anywhere and never done anything and nobody you know has gone anywhere or done anything and your circle of relationship has wound itself so tightly that nobody new comes in and nobody old gets out.....then everyone you care about can exist together. But for most of us, it's just not that simple. Most of us are stuck in the middle of the giant complex organism of life, and people come and go from all directions and half of the time they never bump into each other. They only bump into YOU; and the only evidence they see of the others are the bruises left on your arms from time to time.
I had a dream last night that I was in a cramped, smoky Waffle House. I went in with a small group of friends (ones that I happen to be missing right now). We sat down, ordered our food. Seconds later, another group of my (our) friends walked in. We were all surprised to see each other. "Haayyy!! What are YOU doing here?" We scooted over and made room. But then it happened again. And again. And again. Before long just about every friend I have, their friends, people that I met once or twice but really liked and never saw again, my family members, and so on had walked into the restaurant. We eventually stopped acting surprised to see everyone else there. It was normal. Expected. We pulled up additional tables and shared chairs...nobody seemed to mind the lack of space. There was no awkwardness and every single person there felt acknowledged and welcomed. I was eating waffles smothered with blueberry compote. I was laughing so much that my face was covered in purple mush. It was dripping down my chin and I couldn't have cared less. Nobody did. It was beautiful.
My only conclusion of the dream is that it was a clear and obvious expression of my longing for a relationship utopia. (I can't help but grin when I realize that the setting of my personal utopia was an establishment that serves carb-laden breakfast food. How telling.) While the details of the dream are unrealistic (everyone knows that Waffle House doesn't serve compote), I can't shake off the thought of "Why not?" So much of life truly is complicated, but more often than not, I make it unnecessarily so. Thomas More believed that utopia was possible. Joey and Rachel believed it. Why shouldn't we? It's definitely a goal worth striving for.
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