Monday, April 25, 2005

T.V. Commercials That Disturb Me:

1. The Burger King "King" with the plasticy face and the scary clownish smile. I don't understand why these people are so pleasantly suprised when this 6 foot tall nightmare appears to them first thing in the morning with greasy breakfast offerings.

2. I think this a Snapple commercial, but I can't be sure. A little girl lays on her stomach, and runs her legs in a circle around her body...up over her head. If you haven't seen it, then my description probably does nothing for you. If you have seen it, then you know what I mean. Any very unnatural movement of the human body gives me the creeps. It's exactly why I find movies such as The Ring, The Grudge, and The Exorcist(which I've never wanted to watch more than about 30 seconds of) so terrifying. Girls walking down stairs and up walls on all fours.......Ohmagod!!! I can't handle it. Another example is #3.

3. The beer commercial (can't remember which beer) in iditarod flavor where men are pulling dogsleds through the snow and the dogs are the ones riding. The men are actually running on all fours....the unnaturality thing again.


4. Big, hairy, mammoth-like SUVs.........reminds me of one of the creatures from the original Star Wars trilolgy. This one is an advertisement for driver safety. I must give it a thumbs-up for creativity because it's doubtful that anyone whould pay attention to the traditional 1980's version of encouraging responsibility behind the wheel. But these would capture the awed attention of dangerous speeders and seatbelt ignorers everywhere.

5. Classic Mr. Clean bits have been underestimated when it comes to disturbability. I know he's got the sexy pirate thing going for him, but if I saw his face appear in the bathtub I had just cleaned, I'd be more than a little concerned. It's hard to tell if the women in these commercials are more excited about their cleaning success or by the wink Cleanie gives them when they finish the job. Maybe he's not there at all....maybe they're just high on fumes. They're exasperated by the lack of their husband's appreciation for their housekeeping efforts, and the whole thing is a chemical induced fantasy about a man FINALLY noticing how good they are at what they do. It's less treacherous than having an affair.


6. Snuggle Bear. This kid is almost as creepy as Chucky. His uncontrollable giggles and michevious grin are undeniably suspicious, if you ask me. If you walk into the laundry room and your toddler is hugging a midget-sized talking bear, you should at least ask some questions. Besides...who knows where this bear has been. He rolls around in everyone's fresh laundry, and you know what his woodsy-animal hygiene must be like. I'm thinking ticks and dried mud, at best. Not what I want snuggling with my clean panties. Or my dirty ones, for that matter.

7. The toenail fungus guy on the Lamisil commercial. Everybody knows this one....he jumps under someone's toenail, and then he and all his fungi buddies have a party inside. Imagining intoxicated, gruff voiced fungi-folk dancing to Cool and the Gang and gettin it on under the corroded layers of the nail on my big toe literally makes my spine hurt. I have to change the channel when I see this one come on. If I were crazier and even more obsessive than I already am, I would seriously consider ripping all of my toenails off completey with pliers just to avoid the possibility of such gatherings occuring in the first place.

1 comment:

Elise said...

What a great post!! I agree with you on nearly every single example.
Oh, and freaky supernatural movement girl is in an advertisment for the Mazing bar.
The SUV...Suvee...whatever they call it commerical totally freaks me out as well. I have mentioned it to Cody more than a few times.
But more than anything, I HATE that Burger King commercial. If I ever raised my window shades and was presented with that demented looking masked man, I would scream and call the cops. Possibly reach for a gun, too. Definitely not open the window. Seriously - that is like Proflile #1 of a mass-murderer/stalker. What a complete psycho.