What day of the week will April 15th, 2019 fall on? What day did it fall on in 1942? If it's 5:00 p.m. in Lisbon, then what time is it in Vancouver? Does your business fall under a "1R" or a "2R" rating in the D&B system? What is the definition of "Greenmail"? How many miles is it from Nairobi and Bombay? If you need the answers to any of these questions, I'm your go-to gal.
I just purchased a $40 day planner, and the above is just a small sample of the wealth of knowledge it contains. Honestly, I haven't used a day planner in quite some time....which might explain my usual brain jumble of appointments and deadlines. Apparently all of the ones I owned in the past were cheap teaniebop versions because they never contained mini-encyclopedias like this one does. (but at least those had extra pages for my weekly updated list of boys that I liked) While this new possession should make me feel all new and shiny--empowered with fancy facts, I'm really just annoyed. Who needs crap like this in their planner? Anyone who does surely wouldn't be using a $40 leather binder to keep their lives straight. Their personal assistants would be doing it for them by way of high tech laser hieroglyphics Or is my professional life just extremely lame and trivial....or lamely trivial....or trivially lame?? No, the Mead Company is mocking me, my friends. It's mocking all of us for our ability to function without a toteable Wall Street dictionary. Now excuse me while I place a few prank calls to the Milwaukee Econo Lodge.
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