Have you ever noticed that ALL vampires are lean and stylish? Why is that, exactly?
The leanness could certainly be attributed to thier high protein, low carb diet. But surely they consume something other than blood. I don't guess I've ever seen a vampire eat a cheeseburger and fries, but I think it's plain unrealistic to assume they don't have other cravings.
The stylish factor is a little more puzzling. First of all, I've never seen a vampire with a real job. Vampires are never accountants or school teachers or construction workers. Do they ALL come from hundreds of years of family money? I doubt it. How can they afford such nice wardrobes? It seems like nowadays, they'd be wearing crap leftovers from generations past. We all hated having to wear hand-me-downs from 2nd cousins, but it would really suck to be stuck in moth-eaten scraps from 1865. Maybe it's just that they stick mostly to black....classic pieces that stay up to date.
What I really want to see is a fat ass vampire with a comb-over and sweatpants; channel surfing and scratching his balls. Isn't that what we ALL want?
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