The Dough-Boy's Sugar-Coated View of Adulthood

That one of the most painful human experiences is to lose a child is a completely believable concept. I would say that it's completely "understandable" but, as someone with no children, much less someone who has LOST a child, how could I possibly understand it? I've heard parents whose children have passed express the pain by saying that it's "unnatural" or "against nature"...that parents should always go first; not the other way around.

While I cannot possibly comprehend the above mentioned scenario, it makes me think about other variations of "unnatural" events within the parent/child relationship. My current and ongoing situation is in no way as tragic or painful as the death of a loved one, but it prompts a very unique range of emotions. I will venture to say that no "child" should have to parent their own parents.

Most of us will grow to an old age. Most of us will have at least one parent arrive at old age before we do. It's one of our many responsibilities as members of a family...as decent human beings...to care for our parents and look after them once they are unable to physically care for themselves. It's really the only way we repay them for raising us to adulthood, right?

But there is a distinct difference in CARING for parents and PARENTING parents. It feels quite unnatural to have to have to discuss with your siblings what "Tough Love" tactics must be used with your mother and father in order for them to learn from their mistakes. Lecturing 60-somethings about irresponsibility and decision making isn't as much fun as it sounds. And lying awake in your bed at night hoping and praying that you've equipped them to the best of your abilities to take on that next big thing....well, it sucks. It bruises the soul in a way that is pretty much indescribable to anyone who hasn't experienced it personally. Debasement, worry, vexation, frustration, sorrow. Mostly sorrow. When combined they create a dull pain that isn't sharp enough to cut your spirit completely in two, but it's a sensation that never really subsides. It jabs you between the ribs just enough so that you never feel totally comfortable.

That absent comfort, like a nice clean house where the family can gather at holidays just like they do in Pilsbury commercials, is something I never stop pining after.