Cartoon Procreation

Everyone has weird dreams from time to time. It has always seemed to me that I have weirder ones, and at a greater frequency, than most people I know. Although, for the past few months, much to my dissapointment, most of my dreams have been more on the side of commonplace. So I was quite pleased when this one occurred not too long ago.

I dreamed that my friend, Berenice, was pregnant. In the dream, we were all suprised upon hearing the news. But what was more suprising was learning that Tigger was the father. Yes, Tigger from the Hundred Acre Woods. Not only was he the father, but Bere was in love with him, and marriage was in the works to prevent the birth of a little bastard tigerbaby. Bere is, by far, the most sophisticated friend I have. She's very pretty, very proper, and very much a "lady". I could spend a full four years at Madame Boufant's School for Young Women and graduate still cruder, clumsier, and more unpolished than she.

Placing the absurdity of Tigger inpregnating anyone in general aside, the idea of Bere being the "anyone" makes it all the more ridiculous. She wouldn't tolerate Tigger's moxie for more than about 10 minutes on a first date, if he could manage to even get that far. Owl, or Rabbit, maybe....would be a much better match for her. I think I could have an enjoyable night with Tigger. He'd be a hoot to take bar-hopping, anyway. Could probably show me a good time. Certainly wouldn't be one with whom to consider anything long term, though.

I hate to leave Pooh and Piglet out of this. Both would be considerate boyfriends, I'm sure. Pooh would supply any woman with a constant supply of warm smackerals, and would likely be very emotionally giving (he's big on sharing, as I recall). Piglet would be sweet and agreeable, and I'm sure SOME girls like pansies. I guess I almost forgot about Eeyore. He's way too self involved to pursue a relationship. You have to love yourself first, right?