An Eye for an Eye

I got home late on Monday night. I was very cold, very tired, and very much not in the mood to put up with the hijinks of my cat. Bridget (my cat) is a relentless pain in the backside most of the time. She normally listens for the "toot-toot" of my car lock when I get home, then waits by the door for the 45 seconds it takes me to walk up the stairs. I'll pat her on the head. Pick her up if my hands aren't full. Ask her how her day was; blah, blah, blah. As soon as I busy myself with something that doesn't directly involve her (which usually takes about 2 minutes), she begins her routine of tearing through the apartment in efforts to gain attention. This rampage can last anywhere from 30 minutes to 6 hours, depending on how much she slept that day.

She had been extra hyper since I walked in that night, and despite my various methods of kitty discipline, her obstinance was increasing. The last straw was when she used my leg as a ladder. As I lay wounded and bloody, I fantasized about mashing my lit cigarette on her forehead (lucky for her, I don't smoke.). Instead, I irascibly vowed to ignore her for the rest of the night. Elise was staying with me that night, and we were delaying sleep by talking....about boys and makeup, no doubt (that's all girls talk about, you know) . I was doing well with my promise not to notice Bridget....I ALWAYS keep my promises....when Elise heard a peculiar sound. I thought it was the muffled cooing of pigeons outside my window. It's one of those constant sounds you learn to tune out. But, no; it was Bridget snoring. She was curled up all upside-down and crooked-like on the end of my bed. I was totally elated by the cuteness of it all and I, too, curled up at the end of the bed so I could listen more intently. How dare she make a fool of me!! I will not have my authoritative anger mocked by adorable manipulation! I'll get my revenge.....you wait and see.